Dating for Dummies: “You don’t have gf? Why don’t you?”

A couple of, obviously bored stiff from their minds, stare intently at their smart phones in a Seoul cafe. The talk that is small when there is any, is painful to eavesdrop on. Despite their matching clothing, ubiquitous few rings, and obligatory selfies together, they appear to have small in typical. So just why the regularity of these embarrassing pairings in the coffee stores of Seoul?

“You don’t have a gf? Why don’t you?” is most likely the essential common concern single males have expected in Southern Korea. Dating is just an endeavour that is fairly straightforward there isn’t any explanation not to ever do so, as my South Korean housemate constantly reminds me personally. Dating Г  la corГ©enne happens to be reduced to checking items off an inventory, after a textbook of do’s and don’ts. We present the lowdown:

The Introduction

The simplest way to meet up ladies is through your buddy: he can familiarizes you with some one he knows and put up a sogaeting — a pre-arranged date. Instead, you need to use a sogaeting application. As soon as both both you and your prospective gf have actually agreed on a night out together, make sure to dress to wow. Then head to Gangnam. Italian restaurants or VIPS would be the standard fare for times. If you should be unsure on how to speak to your date, don’t worry and simply prepare some topics beforehand: internet sites with guides and video lessons abound.

The Meetup

Who foots the balance? Why you, needless to say. Her duties are restricted to spending money on after-dinner coffee, but as long as the date goes well and also you go to Round Two. Also my gallant housemate admits to hating the obligatory dinner purchase but feels he “has no choice”. The‘after-message’ to confirm interest is vital after the date ends and you have arrived back home. See right here for well-documented methods that are successful. But don’t forget that timing is important and therefore the message should be delivered within thirty minutes to an hour or so following the end for the date to make sure optimal success!

The Confession

Now if things ‘re going efficiently and also you want in her own, be sure to formalise the offer by having a love ‘confession’. It doesn’t matter how long you have got spent together, not to mention everything you did together, things aren’t settled before you occur rock both of you are ‘official’. Tell her “i prefer youu bluntly” or ask, “Do you want to get steady?” If she hesitates to respond to, merely get back to “The Introduction” part for this article and start around again. Until your confession of real love is accepted by some body, it really is permissible to see one or more girl at the same time. It really is referred to as eojang gwalli — ‘managing your seafood stock’.

But you have just entered into a relationship and it’s time to get serious if she accepts your heartfelt plea.


Success! You now have gf, a marker of or both. But Qwikmeet this isn’t the finish. It is now time and energy to purchase matching shoes, few bands, exchange hourly texts, make use of ‘selfie-stick’, head to parks, browse coffee shops, search for cafГ©s that is pet. Simply speaking, the number of choices are endless.


Needless to say, thoughts is broken ‘going steady’, the cinema is vital. Areas have also popped up to boost and diversify the knowledge, with premium couple-seats being offered. Take pleasure in the connection with staring blankly at a display for 2 hours, peppered every now and then with gruesome scenes that automatically prompt hand-clutching, which gives her the reassurance that oppa will be here.

Wedding Anniversaries

As time goes by, you have to commemorate your own time together: 1 week, a month, 100 times… Such milestones confirm the healthier status of couplehood and produce a feeling of success.

100th present to girlfriend day. Information please

^^“Please can somebody advise me personally on which to provide my gf for the 100th time

We’re going to reach our 100 times week that is together next however with just a few times to spare, I’m beginning to be worried about things to provide her .г…њ.г…Ў Letters and plants will be the norm, however, if there’s whatever else other than that I’d appreciate some advice. just exactly What do other dudes often give to their 100th time?? By the way, she’s 24”. Supply: Daum tip forum


Ideally prior to later on, you shall choose be intimate. Don’t stress though. That’s all looked after too. Love motels provide an all-inclusive intercourse package, maybe maybe not least the welcome pack containing condoms, lube, and desensitizing cream in the event you are extremely eager. No doubt, the savvy few will know which sites and apps to utilize for special discounts.

The Fact

My housemate is appropriate. With everything you need to do conveniently and simply organized for your needs, here really isn’t any reason to not date. (Love, nonetheless, is optional.) The pity to be branded a motaesollo — “a loner since conception” — is after all most useful prevented and exactly how simpler to do this than by stepping into a relationship? However in numerous instances, the thing I see is a pricey ritualised performance of courtship: a prescribed group of inevitable activities marching toward the goal that is ultimate wedding.

But until then, dating is anticipated if an individual desires to avoid costs of impotence, deviance, or homosexuality. In reality, some south that is gay friends turn to putting on a ‘couple ring’ at the job to imagine they truly are right plus in a relationship, while they should really be. It really works like a dream, I am told.

We often have the South Korean dating scene is just like a Petri meal: a synthetic environment containing all of the right nutritional elements to advertise the fast cultivation of partners. Valentine’s Day, White Day, Pepero Day, the 100-day anniversary… All are grotesque reminders of just exactly how relationship in Southern Korea happens to be commodified in accordance with some ideal of Western middle-class romance, and repackaged into a kitschy item that is must-have.

When it comes to couple that is hopeless the cafe, these are generally both ‘in need’ of a relationship — and status and normalcy it confers. So that they date one another away from convenience, expectation, and maybe — within the scenario that is best-case a way of measuring affection. But irrespective, in the middle of such extreme pressures to conform to societal ‘norms’ and perform set functions, they turn society’s desires within their desires, and so they continue steadily to concur with the consumerism of love.

Raphael Rashid authored this informative article.

To get more on dating tradition in Southern Korea, read: